“Only when we’re brave enough

To explore the darkness will we discover

The infinite power of our light.”     

-Brene Brown


In Chinese medicine everything is in relationship to another.  Wholeness is the aim and restoring balance both internally and externally is the goal.


Because most of my clients are women I talk with them about the ebb and flow of their menstrual cycle.  In the beginning we are more yang in nature which means bright, outward, warm, dry, and masculine. This time of our cycle we are more likely to feel social, expressive and outgoing.


By contrast the second half of the cycle post ovulation we move into a more yin phase which means dark, inward, cool, moist, feminine.  During this time we tend to be more reflective, intuitive, contemplative, and quiet.


You can think of it like the cycle of a plant that opens its leaves to the sunlight during the day and then retreats, closes its petals and rests in the coolness of the evening.  This too is how our cycles work in rhythm.


Because we live in a society with demands that are predominantly masculine, the role of the feminine sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.  We forget to cultivate and grow our natural feminine energy and, in fact, sometimes abandon it all together. This is why in my “Fertile Ground” e-book I teach women to work with cultivating their feminine energy.


The question I get asked most often is “But how do I do that?”  “How do I build my feminine energy?”


When we are working to reclaim forgotten aspects of ourselves (femininity, receptivity, grace, ease, sexiness etc.) the path to wholeness must include fully accepting the shadow aspects of ourselves.


For example, if we want to be more receptive and living in our feminine energy then we must first look at our masculinity and how that is showing up in our life right now.  How are we domineering, controlling, assertive, goal-oriented, physical or aggressive? The point is not to shame ourselves for any of these traits, but to see the gift that our masculinity has to offer us.


The opposite is also true. If you are trying to cultivate more masculinity then you must then look to the ways your femininity is showing up in your life.


If our aim is wholeness, which I believe that it is, then we can not have joy without pain, we cannot have love without hate, and we cannot have abundance without lack.


Whether you are working to balance your hormones, lessen your PMS, get pregnant, or have more ease and flow in your pregnancy and labor and delivery, looking to the yin aspects and yang aspects can show you how to embrace all aspects of yourself to create more wholeness and ease in your lives.


Most importantly, it is in finding the gifts in our shadow that offers us wholeness in body mind and spirit.